One Giant "Thank You Note."

So here I sit, at 5:12 am, and being up since 1:28 am. The Asian Invasion is in full effect at the Haus of Harding. The kids are not sleeping well at all. They are up, and down, up and down, up and down. So while Todd snuggles them on the couch with some VeggieTales, I thought I would sit down and write a quick note to all of the sweet folks who knocked our socks off when we returned home from China. Oh, how I wish I could sit down and write each of you a special "Thank You Note" but I know I would be kidding myself. I am lucky if I can put one baby down to potty. I also was having issues with my phone since I returned from China as well. I had all sorts of text issues, time issues, voicemail issues. Geez. I mean. So, if I haven't responded to you, it's certainly not because I don't love you, because I so do. Before I get into our return trip, I just want to be very transparent with you all. I have been so overwhelmed by the uniting of our Village. Overwhelmed with the uniting in prayer. Overwhelmed with the uniting of funds. Overwhelmed with the "doing good, especially to those in the family of Faith." {Gal.6:10} Most of you know that for most of our lives, Todd and I have done all the things, on our own. We have not had "get your hands dirty" help and support. We have become a very good team, him and I. Mostly because we both have the same goal in our minds, and we work very hard to achieve the same things. I have found myself succumbing to the help of others. I am blown away by the joy I see on the faces of those just wanting to put their hands and feet to the plow with us. I haven't ever seen that in my life, until I met Jesus. I struggle with feelings of complete un-worthiness. I struggle to accept help, and ask for help. And I know exactly where it stems from. Even sitting here typing it, I have more memories of asking, crying, yearning, for help, and not receiving it, than I do getting it. It makes me turn to see just how my newest littles are feeling. Crying to have their needs met, and no one comes. Being so extremely clingy, because they are not sure if you are coming back. Worried faces as friends come over to drop off food, not sure if I am going to pass them off.  My thoughts are falling quickly into being a failure, because I can't even begin to think about how I, me, ME, with all my quirks, is even going to be able to raise them. So that is where I am at right now.

Psalm 145:18-19 {NLT} " The LORD is CLOSE to ALL who call on HIM, yes, to ALL who call on HIM in Truth. He grants the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cries for HELP and RESCUES them." 

I was so thankful to read that yesterday while searching for just one mere nugget of God's Word to speak to me.  So all that to say, "Thank You." Thank you for just doing, and allowing me "not to ask." I feel so filled to the brim of thankfulness. Walking into my house after that long trip back from China, was indescribable. Walking in to the smell of a pot roast simmering in a crock pot, then walking in to my own bedroom finding about 10 gift bags sitting on my bed, FULL of clothes for our babies. The load that took off my shoulders was unreal. The burdens that many of you eased for us by praying are huge. The burdens you have released by just being encouraging, and speaking kind words, and posting scripture to our Facebook Page. Parents, Teachers, Friends, Families, all joined hands in agreement, and made the choice to LOVE the little nomad family called the Hardings. I never would have imagined that God would have paved such a perfect little yellow brick road for us. Never. Not in a million years. All we ever wanted was to add to our little family, raise some great kids, build a legacy. We just wanted to do whatever it was that would bring the absolute most Glory to Him possible. I never expected anything in return. But, He has given me a return on my investment that I find it hard to even accept at times! Like I feel like saying, NO NO Lord, it's too much! But, then He keeps the fountains flowing. I think I finally understand what He means when He says "Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, it will be POURED into your LAP. For with the MEASURE YOU USE, it WILL BE MEASURED to you." Luke 6:38 {NIV}
But, what a double minded wretch I am. Those verses are never meant for me, only for others. I never "expect" to reap the huge blessings, only what I measure myself to. Which isn't much. So dear friends, thank you so much. I wish I could give to you what you have given to us via our Heavenly Father. I pray that you know in your hearts how I want you all to know that nothing you have done or given to us has been missed or taken for granted. Not one thing. I cherish each and every gift, word, hug, text, phone call. I am literally yearning to hug all the necks, and smooch all the cheeks. I know I will get that chance in the weeks ahead. Time to head back to that plow, because this field isn't going to harvest by itself!! HUGS!!!