Five Years Old...

On Easter Sunday I will turn 5 years old. That day marks the day that 2 Corinthians 5:17 became a reality in my life. "This means anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" (NLT Translation) Oh! And what a change He has done in this life! A change that I with all my might can barely put into English words. A transformation. A cause for me wanting to literally CELEBRATE at random times throughout each day. A hunger deep in my stomach to find out ALL I can about this person I call so many beautiful names. I AM. Yahweh. Jehovah. Lion of Judah. Beloved Son of God. Creator. Wonderful Counselor. Jesus Christ. Oh if you know Him, how those names make your heart beat so fast. It is that name that makes me cry, leap, stand, praise! But why? How? Because He called me. And I said, "yes." That is it.

I remember so vividly that call. Completely unwilling to believe the "hokiness" of Jesus Christ. The most crazy story anyone had ever thought up. The scoffing I was so able to do at the idea of a Supernatural Creator, who also just happened to LOVE me. What a joke. And, to just put the icing on the cake, ANYONE who believed in that junk, OBVIOUSLY was not smart enough to be a free thinker, and was just following a crowd. That was until, my heart was pierced. Until, he SO lovingly, whispered to me "If you stand up, it will ALL go away." My Lord was referring to what was happening to me physically while I was hearing the Gospel being preached, on Easter Sunday. And, may I say so lovingly, this was no hyped up sermon, no bells, no whistles. It was a man, with an open bible, speaking the Gospel. That is it. A Gospel, I DID NOT EVEN UNDERSTAND. It was like a foreign language being spoken, and I was counting the minutes down until I could say I checked the box and went to church on Easter Sunday! I was ready to get this show on the road! But, oh how my plans are not my own. How I began to sweat profusely at the name of Jesus. How I began to feel nauseous, at the name of Jesus. How the Pastor began to answer my questions inside of my head, at the name of Jesus. How I, and my hands began to shake nervously, at the name of Jesus. And, then He spoke. Directly into my spirit. "If you stand up, it will ALL go away." And, well you know....I was so obedient. NOT. I decided to argue with this voice for a minute. Ummm, are you crazy!! I am NOT standing up! I am perfectly fine sitting here sweating, shaking, and about to throw up! But, I of course was not, okay. I then saw my sin. I saw who I was. What I was. And the symptoms became worse. I started to weep, and in that instant, I KNEW the Truth. I stood up, scooted by about 4 sets of knees, and found myself walking to the front of a church I had never been to, and said "I surrender." Thats it. I became SOLD OUT to something that was literally a joke to me an hour before I sat down in that chair. Do you think I am nuts? Do you think I am crazy? Because I can tell you that I am certainly not. I haven't done anything on my own. I actually giggle sometimes because I could have NEVER done any of that on my own, not one time, ever in this lifetime. And you know what else? I finally understood. I finally had clarity. I finally had PEACE. The scripture describes how when Paul was confronted on the road to Damascus, Jesus made him blind, and then three days later, the book of Acts describes Paul's regaining of his sight as he was filled with the Holy Spirit, and something like scales fell from Paul's eyes. (Acts 9:17-18 NLT) It was exactly that way for me. I felt as if I was confused (blind) and then after I said "yes", the scales fell from my eyes, and I could understand (see). How many times have you heard, "I was blind, but now I see?" Words that really are full of truth!

Five years gone, and it has been one amazing journey after another. The Lord has worked and worked in THIS GIRL'S life. Over and OVER! I have learned so much about my Yahweh. My I Am. How He loves me. How He has loved me. How He loves my family. How He loves, just loves. Has it been a garden of rose petals, and rainbows, walking with Him? No. It has been hard. But, each time I see how hard it is, my burden is lifted slightly, and I search for Him. I look for Him. I talk His promises back to Him. I sing to Him. I worship Him. I talk to Him. I cry to Him. Because only HE fills up that void in me. It's the darndest thing!! And, because HE.IS.WORTHY!

If you don't know Him, can I just be bold enough to say, "you are missing out." I can't tell you what you are missing out on, because I do not know the plan He has for you. But, if it is anything like His Word says it is, it's pretty darn big! And, it is pretty darn meaningful! And, I know how it feels to be in His plan, and I would not trade being in His plan for not.one.earthly.thing. Everyone has a price? Nope. When you can say, there is nothing, not one price you would trade for Him. That is saving faith. The PEARL the man had and buried in a field, and then sold all he had to buy the field to uncover the pearl once again!! (Matthew 13:44 NLT)

Easter Sunday is truly a day where my heart could literally explode! Won't you just go? Won't you just kill your pride for 1 measly hour, for the possibility for eternity? Hear, hear what He did for YOU! 

"Can You Just Be Happy For Me?"

Will you allow me to just pour my heart out for a minute? Will you allow me to be just completely transparent and real with you all? I am hurt. I am really hurting inside. I just want to know, when did we as human beings, and even the Body of Christ, stop being genuinely happy for someone when God pours out blessings? Because, I feel as if God is pouring out blessing on me and my family after over 3 years of trial,  and I feel as if I am being interrogated at every side because of it. Why can't I get a hug instead of whispers? Can you be thrilled for me because I am about to own my very first home, at the age of 39? Is it asking to much for you to be ecstatic for the child(ren) we are adding to our family, even if from around the globe? Why is it your responsibility to make sure we are following a biblical calling, and what scripture we have as proof? What I so desperately want is for  people to be encouraging me right now, because trust me, what you don't know is, I am ALREADY my own worst enemy. I already say to myself, "Who am I Lord?" "Why me Lord?" I don't need extra help to bring ME down. I do that just fine on my own. Please don't think that I do not struggle with if "God has got this right." Because if anyone knows how blessed they are it is me! Romans 12:15 (ESV) "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." And, doggonnit I want to REJOICE right now!! Won't you rejoice WITH me? Won't you stop commenting on where I am building my house, or how big my house is, or how much money we are spending on our house? Won't you stop assuming that adopting from China is a fleeting, spur of the moment decision? Won't you rejoice that for the first time in my life, I am settling down and planting roots? Won't you rejoice that I will be settled in one place, and not having to move every three years, which I have done since the tender age of 17! Won't you shout for joy that I am going to grow my family, with orphans! Won't you be in awe of the Awesomeness of our Lord, and how he has worked MIGHTILY in my life to bring to the place I am at right now?! Because, GAH-LEE, I am overwhelmed with His goodness to me!! And tomorrow I may want to weep, and if that is the case, won't you weep with me? For my sweet friends who have loved on us, rejoiced with us, been excited for each step we are taking right now, THANK YOU! I am so thankful for how God has strategically placed you in our lives. And, in conclusion, I would hope that anyone who is willing to get to know me would know, I will ALWAYS rejoice with you, and ALWAYS weep with you.

Accepted.

Well, by no means did I expect on writing two blog posts in the same day, BUT....this really needed to be put into print. As I published my first post this morning, I immediately received an email in my inbox, which the first paragraph looked something like this.

Good Morning Mr. and Mrs. Harding,

Thank you for your recent application. Upon review of your recent application, we have found it to be in accordance with requirements of both Small World and China, the country in which you are interested and intend to pursue. Congratulations!


So, Erin? What does that mean exactly? Well, it has to mean something good, because the word Congratulations! is used. And THAT is always a good sign! It means we are officially with an adoption agency, and we are officially in the China program! I feel so very excited nauseous. Mostly from the giant packet of paperwork my sweet hubby came home with this afternoon. Affectionately called our "Home Study." See, I told y'all, God was doing WORK! So much work however, that it is hard for me to type this post and not fall out into tears, the "ugly cry" tears.

So, how did you all come about choosing China? Well, China sorta chose us. It was the ONE place that Todd, kinda, sorta, told God we weren't going to go. And, well, because God is well...God. He kinda, sorta, told Todd, I  run "thangs" round these parts, and yes you will be going to China. And, I kinda, sorta, got to watch Todd eat a plate of crow. Which is SO unspiritual to blog about your husband eating crow BUT, lets be real. God needed me to see that, in order to know that it was HIS plan, and not ours.  And, I have told God he can use the eating crow example ANYTIME He wants to in the future.  Bless that man of mine. I love him, and  The Lord loves him, and was very gentle with him, while turning his heart. So, we are accepted & one day closer to bringing home some little feet!!

Ephesians 1:5 (NLT) " God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure."

Everyone's Doing It.

Blogging that is. Everyone I know has a blog. I used to blog. I gave it up. Then started it again. Then, gave it up. Mostly because I didn't consider myself that interesting, and also because I tend to err on the side of being extremely truthful, and that can have a tendency to upset folk. {Hypothetically} But, as my family embarks on a new giant adventure, I felt that I should give this blogging one more shot! God has BIG HUGE plans for the Hardings! He has been preparing our hearts for a God sized journey for some time now. About 3 years to be exact. I know that He would want me to tell people what He is up to, and just how faithful, and amazing He is. So that's the plan.

Almost two years ago, God sent us to a little place in the middle of nowhere Deep South, called Albany, GA. We were very excited to be leaving the  hustle and bustle of San Diego, for something a little slower, and less "traffic-y." Our excitement turned to "where the heck is this place" after  leaving Jackson Mississippi, and realizing the only way into this place was by a 2 lane highway, through the sticks, and no cell towers. {insert "dueling banjos" here} However, many a night we vowed to give Albany our best attitude, and to purposefully seek God's will for our family RIGHT HERE.  We did, and God gave us, such a LOVE for this little town, and it's people, that we knew God had brought us here to call it our home, forever. Prayer, after prayer, after prayer, to the Lord about showing us where and what we should do, He says "here."And we say, "Yes."

Things just work out so much better when you give God your "Yes." Since we have said that three letter word to His plan for us here, He has been doing WORK, y'all! Amazing, Awesome, WORK! And, I just love how He orchestrates everything so that it will be on His timetable. Todd and I had been watching the housing market here for quite sometime. We knew that if God wanted us here, the time would come for us to find a place to live. So for close to a year we had been watching the market, and making a list of houses and areas we were interested in. One particular house started it all off. We had been watching it and watching it, and it had dropped significantly in price. So we figured if we were serious we better contact the Realtor and go look at it before it was gone. So, that is what we did. We did our pre-approval paperwork so that if we needed to put an offer in we could. We went and looked at it, and UGH, nope. NOT IT.  We knew right away, it was not the house for us. We were so disappointed. So we figured, we would keep watching and waiting. This was early December 2012. Todd figured that we would just wait until April/May timeframe to go out again to look for anything since we were not in a hurry. I however, figured that the least we could do was go look at the houses that we had put on our list, to either cross them off, or become serious about them. There were about 8 of them. So that is what we did. We went and looked at every single one. Getting more and more discouraged. There were a couple we "liked" but none that we knew was our home. That is when our Realtor mentioned to us a couple of houses that were being built and we could go take a look at them. We figured, why not, but in all honesty, I was just D.O.N.E.  First one, about 2 months from being finished, I didn't love. Then she says, on your way out drive by this lot about a block away, blah, blah, blah. So we say okay, and thank you for her time. We drive by said lot, and on it stood just a shell of a house. Wood frame and a roof. I said to Todd, "That is our house." Call our Realtor right now, and tell her. Todd says to me "ummm we haven't even been inside of it yet." I tell him, "I don't care, that is it." "I know it." So as all good husbands should do, he listened. He made the phone call, and it was ours un-officially. It had not even been listed, and it still had approximately 4 months until it would be finished. Which by the way was perfect timing for us. It put us at the April timeframe we knew we would be looking to move. PLUS, I would get to pick everything myself, and tweak whatever I wanted to tweak within reason. Right after Christmas, we signed the contract on it, and there was no turning back! And, can I just say, this whole entire process God has shown his hand mightily, every step of the way. Our prayer when we signed the contract was " Lord, show us You, in every thing we are doing." And, He has. I have lots of stories about the building of this house, and how the Lord has showed Himself in the littlest of details. Ask me about my "God Granite Story" as my friend Teresa calls it. Or how the lot our house is on, back when it was filled with trees, and barely a paved road, I told Todd how "I wished we could build a house right here." God cares about the details, friends.

So, for a first post, I think this is a good ending point. If I blabbed told everything in the first one, it would make for a very boring blog. So come back, and pretend to be interested in the next chapter! After 25 years of faithful military service,  my Todd is about to retire. We are for the first time ever in our lives, planting deep roots. In the  middle of nowhere Deep South! Todd and I have been nomads for a very long time. And, the greatest of encouragements to us both is this quite frequent saying from dear people we know. No one just chooses Albany, GA. You are SENT to Albany, GA.